


a sprinkle of pixie dust

by sataelites



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Peter Pan Fusion, And Bitter, But he's trying, M/M, Neverland (Peter Pan), Past Relationship(s), renjun is peter pan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24403861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sataelites/pseuds/sataelites
Summary: "do you regret it?" renjun finally asks, despite knowing that he doesn't quite want to hear the answer."no." donghyuck replies, blunt as ever. "i don't."________or alternatively, a short, little thing wherein donghyuck doesn't choose neverland.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	a sprinkle of pixie dust

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is my attempt in capturing the bittersweet sort of feeling that comes with seeing someone you once knew so well become a stranger. the idea came when i was listening to an old playlist and lost boy by ruth b came on and i was like ,,, wait what if the speaker decided against staying ? 
> 
> a note before reading, renjun is 18 in this one, and donghyuck is aged up to be about 28 or so.

renjun lands on a rooftop, and very nearly over balances. he’s muttering small curses to himself under his breath, when he hears a sharp intake of air. and there, on the balcony across from him, is someone he thought he was never going to lay eyes on again. 

“hello, renjun,” donghyuck breathes, there’s a careful sort of wonder in his voice and his eyes take in renjun’s tense figure almost desperately- as if he is about to disappear at any moment and donghyuck needs to memorise his features for safekeeping. 

renjun says nothing in return. he doesn’t know  _ what  _ to say to him. he doesn’t know what to say to someone he used to think the world of, but is now a stranger to him. 

donghyuck looks both achingly familiar and irrevocably changed. and although renjun can see the traces of the boy he used to be, donghyuck’s face follows sharper lines and unfamiliar angles now. this isn’t the boy he used to know- renjun knows he can’t be- he doesn’t know donghyuck anymore, there was too much time spent apart, and too much hurt between them, and he knows that donghyuck wouldn’t be the same as he was nine years ago. hell,  _ renjun  _ wasn’t the same person he was nine years ago. 

but perhaps he hadn’t known donghyuck back then either. he had been so sure that when the time came to choose, that donghyuck would have chosen him- and he didn’t. maybe he hadn’t ever known donghyuck properly at all. he had watched donghyuck walk away from him, and he couldn’t find the words to say that would make him turn around- and instead silently let him go. 

“i can’t stay,” renjun says sharply, as even after all these years, the sight of donghyuck in front of him stings (renjun’s almost incredulous that he didn’t immediately bolt upon seeing donghyuck again, but the world is full of surprises) 

“i know,” donghyuck says quietly, “but not even for a little while?” his eyes meet renjun’s earnestly, “i’ve missed you.”

a small flicker of anger rears its head in renjun’s chest, but he smothers it just as quickly as it appeared. he doesn’t intend on ever seeing donghyuck again after this, and doesn’t want to waste the time he has saying things he doesn’t mean (because he would never, ever find it within himself to hate donghyuck).

renjun pretends to consider donghyuck’s offer for a moment, but as soon as donghyuck had made the request, he had decided to meet it- as even after all these years, donghyuck’s words still had sway on him. 

with a small nod, he concedes and leaps across the distance that separates them. he lands lightly and looks up to meet donghyuck’s eyes. up close, the changes to donghyuck’s face are even more apparent, and to renjun’s dismay, donghyuck has grown taller than him. to his surprise, donghyuck doesn’t say anything about it (the donghyuck renjun had known would’ve said something, renjun can almost see the teasing grin on that donghyuck’s face, but this donghyuck is quiet, and has a hard edge to the set of his mouth). some part of renjun mourns the donghyuck that he had known- for this donghyuck is quiet, and there is a tired slump to his shoulders, and renjun hates it. he hates that donghyuck grew up.

“come in then,” donghyuck murmurs. he is so quiet now, with a seriousness to him that the younger donghyuck would’ve hated, and perhaps even made fun of. renjun wonders what happened to the boy who tended to speak in bright tones rather than the soft murmurs donghyuck speaks in now. 

renjun wanders into the apartment, wary on his feet as he follows donghyuck. 

the awkward tension in the room is almost palpable and renjun feels uncomfortable with the twisting feeling in his chest that screams he doesn’t belong here, in this room, in this time. he scans the room around him, and feels worse for it, as he spots multiple photos of donghyuck with the same boy. the photos litter the walls, one with the boy’s arms draped comfortably around donghyuck’s shoulders, another with their hands intertwined, yet another with the other boy’s lips pressed to donghyuck’s cheek. the photos share their story over the years, and renjun finds himself hating the other boy in spite of himself. 

donghyuck follows his gaze, and his eyes fill with warmth. “that’s mark,” he says. donghyuck’s voice seems to wrap around the syllable of the other boy’s name with so much love and warmth in his voice. renjun feels sick, and only offers donghyuck a sharp nod in return. he fears for what he would say if he spoke. but renjun thinks to himself, a reluctant sort of admittance, that donghyuck wears the look of love well. 

“tea?” donghyuck offers, but doesn’t wait for renjun’s reply before he begins to fix two cups. 

renjun hates tea, but hates the fact that donghyuck hadn’t remembered his preference for coffee even more. he supposes it’s ridiculous of him to hold this against donghyuck, it had been  _ years  _ after all, but renjun himself still remembered how donghyuck took his tea- two sugars, a splash of milk. renjun watches with a small sense of satisfaction as donghyuck does exactly that- perhaps some things don’t change after all. 

donghyuck sips at his tea, indifferent to the scalding heat. renjun leaves his own cup untouched. 

the silence between them drags. 

“do you regret it?” renjun finally asks, despite knowing that he doesn’t quite want to hear the answer. 

“no.” donghyuck says, blunt as ever, “i don’t.” donghyuck cups his tea between his hands, and renjun notices, for the first time, the ring on his left hand. “i couldn’t have stayed, renjun, “ he says gently, “i wasn’t meant for forever.” he shakes his head. “forever eighteen would’ve ruined me. there were dreams i had, things i wanted to accomplish, that only would’ve come with, well,” he shrugs at renjun, and offers him a weary smile, “growing up.”

“i just thought you would’ve chosen me.” renjun tries his best to not sound bitter.

donghyuck’s eyes soften. “i’m sorry.” the apology doesn’t feel as good as renjun had imagined it would. if anything, it made him feel worse. 

donghyuck taps his fingers across the table as they fall into silence once more.

“are you happy?” renjun says. 

donghyuck looks almost startled at the question, but he smiles at renjun as he rubs the ring on his left hand. “i am.” 

“i’m glad,” renjun says, and is surprised to find that it wasn’t a lie. renjun stands from his seat, and gestures at where the sun threatens to rise above the horizon, “i have to go.”

renjun steps out onto the balcony and climbs onto the railing. the metal of it is cool under his bare feet. he balances there for a moment before he indulges himself, and turns to take in donghyuck for one last time. 

he sits there, a portrait of summer hues, as the first rays of the new day bleed into the room to dye his hair a warm gold. “will i see you again?” donghyuck asks softly, his eyes meeting renjun’s.

despite the temptation to say yes, renjun shakes his head. “no,” he says, “i think it’s for the best if we don’t meet again.”

donghyuck accepts his answer easily, as if already expecting it. he offers renjun a wan smile from where he’s still seated at the table, “i guess this is goodbye then.” 

renjun nods slowly, “it is.”

donghyuck rises from his seat and closes the distance between the two of them. he beckons to renjun, and renjun follows, as he always has. they stand in front of each other on even ground as renjun steps down from the railing on light feet.

donghyuck hesitates before he takes renjun’s face between his hands. they are warm, as they always have been and renjun leans into the touch despite himself. 

donghyuck presses a gentle kiss to renjun’s forehead. “live well, renjun.”

“you too, hyuck.” the old nickname comes unbidden, and they both ignore the way his voice wavers as he says the words. renjun breaks from donghyuck’s hold, before he decides to do anything stupid- like stay. he knows he has no place in donghyuck’s life anymore. 

he climbs up onto the railing once more, and takes the pouch of pixie dust into trembling hands. renjun throws it into the air and breathing comes easier with the surge of power that comes with the familiar cloud of green. he takes a moment to steel himself to ensure his voice is steady. “goodbye, donghyuck.” he says with the finality of a book’s final moments. 

renjun turns his back on donghyuck as the man replies with his own farewell, and doesn’t let himself look back as he finally leaves and soars towards the horizon. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this short little piece ! tbh i myself am not a huge fan of the ending, i feel like it just falls short of the feeling i wanted it to have somehow ? and their conversation feels stilted, but i wanted this out of my head lol.
> 
> i may end up revisiting this world to write a prequel at a later date, who knows?
> 
> in any case, any feedback is welcomed as always <3


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